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SA submarine breaks depth record after accidental sinking
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CAPE TOWN. One of South Africa's controversial new submarines, the SS Constitution, has broken the record for the deepest dive after its novice crew accidentally sank the vessel and wedged it into a seabed canyon in the South Atlantic. The navy has confirmed that the crew are "elated and will...
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Obama's White House bid in tatters as Kenya discovered in Africa
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HOUSTON. Barack Obama's quest to become the first black President of the United States is in tatters after it was discovered that Kenya, where the senator's father was born, is a country in Africa and not, as previously believed, a small Baptist town in rural Illinois. Young mothers screamed and co...
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Refugee centres to be kept open to help close them to open them for closure
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PRETORIA. The South African government has outlined its plan for the refugee camps that were erected around the country after xenophobic attacks earlier this year. According to a spokesman, all camps that are currently open, or not closed, will be kept open, except the ones that are closed, and th...
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Saudi Arabia to put human in space, will first test on woman, chimp
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RIYADH. Saudi Arabia says it intends to put a woman in space within five years and a human being within ten. According to a spokesman for the kingdom's newly formed space agency, tests are already underway in the Mysteries of Space-Sorcery laboratory in Riyadh. "Safety is our key concern,&qu...
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Facebook adds new "Life" plug-in, warns of Poke eyeball risk
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NEW YORK. The developers of the popular social networking website Facebook say users have responded cautiously to its latest application. Called 'A Life', the new add-on allows users to upload food and beverages into their stomachs, explore realistically rendered environments, and interfac...
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Human-dog hybrid Palin apologises for proving evolution
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ANCHORAGE. Conservative Republicans are in shock after it emerged this morning that vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, currently a self-proclaimed hockey-mom, used to be a pitbull-human hybrid. It was also revealed that shortly after accepting the Republican nomination she began to e...
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Palintology to study dino bones put there by God 6,000 years ago
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ANCHORAGE. US vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has vowed that if John McCain overcomes incontinence and yellow teeth to enter the White House she will guarantee that the teaching of evolution is replaced by Palintology in all high schools. According to Republican science advisors Palin...
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