A couple with more than 15 years of marriage decide to go to Spain on vacation. One of the sites they visited was a famous bull breeding farm.
The tour guide after taking them to see the farm, tells them that the tour cannot end without him showing them the 'padrotes', meaning the top breeder bulls...
The guide shows them a magnificent bull and says: "This bull here is our 3rd place bull... he weighs about 750 pounds and mates 7 times a day!"
The wife, completely surprised, elbows the husband and says "DID YOU HEAR THAT, HUH?" The husband remains silent...
They move towards another pen and the guide says "This bull here is our 2nd place bull... he weighs about 1000 pounds and mates 12 times a day!"...again the wife, even more surprised that with the first bull, elbows the husband even harder and says again "DID YOU HEAR THAT, HUH?" The husband just looks at the ground and remains silent once more...
They continue toward the last pen...an enormous magnificent bull proud and tall looms over them.. the guide, full of pride says: " This now is our pride and joy, our number 1 bull... he weighs over 1500 pounds and this guy here mates more that 20 times a day!!!"
This time, before the wife can elbow him, the husband asks the guide: Excuse me sir, but does this magificent animal mate over 20 times a day... with the same cow? The guide answers: "But of course not! Different cows!"
The husband elbows the wife hard and says: "DID YOU HEAR THAT HUH?"
A JW missionary in the jungle comes upon a starving lion. He prays that the lion be given Christian feelings. The lion gets down on its knees and prays, "Lord, thank you for the delicious meal I'm about to receive."
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
-- Edited by minoglie at 16:23, 2008-08-07
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**I am remembering everyday but sometimes I need your help**
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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**I am remembering everyday but sometimes I need your help**
